Doctarded
by TarTarIcing
Summary: The brightest star can have the dullest moment. Sometimes multiple moments.
1. Retards by the Number

**Act 1: Retards by the Number**

* * *

Gustave was known to be a bright man.

He was a doctor, then became a GIGN medic, and then put himself at the forefront of the Outbreak. As a man of altruism, he didn't put much stock into fighting, gambling, or drama. In fact, he cared very little of all those things.

So it was a mystery why he was now dragged into a betting pool situation. Thermite was on a cot with a cast on his leg. Gustave looked very displeased with the situation, taking notes of whatever he said and felt.

"And how did you get your leg broken?" The doctor sighed.

"I was running a betting pool on who would throw up. Sledge flipped the table and it landed on my leg." Thermite responded, plainly, "Stupid Sledge..." he angrily muttered to himself.

"And why would you run such a betting pool?"

"I like being a dealer. Lesion and Smoke were competing who could eat the grossest thing and people starting betting who would throw up."

Shit.

"You are to rest here." Doc said, putting the clipboard down and immediately ran to the cafeteria.

"Your stomach is strong but mine is stronger!" Liu boasted, eating from his pile of fried chicken feet. "You don't know the depths of Asian cooking, Porter!"

The other operators were cheering and hollering. Doc had walked into a raucous chorus of noise. The SAS were seated at one side to support Porter. The SAT were cheering on Lesion. Smoke was munching on chicken feet, staring down at the Asian man.

"Another dollar for Lesion!" Jackal put a bill into the pile. Since Sledge flipped Thermite's betting table, people have been designating piles of money to each person.

"Five for Smoke!" Ash put a five dollar bill.

"You can fooking do it, son!" Thatcher yelled, arms raised.

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Echo whooped. People stared at him in awe.

"Since when did you come out of the workshop?" Jaeger asked, confused.

"Ying told me too." Jaeger pulled his head back in confusion but shrugged.

"He's still going down, ya whipped nerd!" Valkyrie trash talked from the other side.

With all the noise and racket, Doc was absolutely terrified. People were banging on tables, yelling, chewing, and making a lot of noise. While he had his concern over both Smoke and Lesion, Liu was more to be concerned over.

Lesion was very open about his past, and so people were aware he swallowed plenty of oil water in his youth. This led to possibly pica-like behaviors and risk-taking actions. Gustave has caught the man drinking aqueduct water through a life straw, licking salt lamps in the therapy rooms, eating expired food items, eating drywall to prove it wasn't drugs to Bandit (that man had a host of other issues), and chewing on Montagne's shield.

Ying then emerged out of the kitchen with two eggs in hand. She shouted, "This is _balut_!" Everyone cheered and screamed. Some pounded the tables in rhythm.

"Ha!" Smoke finished his chicken feet and crossed his arms triumphantly.

"I've seen white men like you eat this item," Lesion chuckled, "It never ends well."

"Let's see about that." Smoke replied.

"Never knew Ying's crazy driving would actually be helpful for once," Ela commented from a distant table.

"Wait, what happened?" Zofia was curious.

"When she came, all us girls went for ice cream. We told her directions to the place but she missed an exit and ended up in a Filipino restaurant. The place and people were actually good."

"Well then."

Doc was making his way through the center of the center of the room. He had the dodge the constantly hungry Russians and the sight of Rook and Blitz together. Rook was making a lanyard in GSG-9 colors while Blitz leaned on him. Swallowing thickly, he remembered that Lesion almost had an ulcer from his questionable eating habits. He figured a whole milk should help either of them in a pinch, since _balut_ was known to be very salty. He made his way to the cafeteria line, where Tachanka was standing there.

"Finka, how much longer?" The Russian giant asked.

"IQ's just getting there, love!" Finka yelled from a distance.

"Make that two more, please!" Doc yelled. IQ immediately ran out of there with four cartons of whole milk. She tossed two to Finka and two to Doc. Finka gave one to Tachanka then sat down to watch. Doc jogged over.

"Liu, please think about your hypertension-" Doc called to him.

But it was too late.

Both already cracked the shells open and ate the _balut_. Lesion casually chewed on the chick fetus and so did Smoke. Both seemed rather fine with it, until Smoke stopped eating. The Brit froze in his seat, gripping his fingers on the table. He then started to convulse and hold his stomach. His cheeks were puffed and he held a pained expression.

A mere seconds later, Smoke projectile vomited on Lesion. Lesion leapt back from his seat, positioning himself in the way that kept his portion of _balut_ clean. Smoke began to continue vomiting in the same fashion. He tried to get into the trash can but missed. He then slipped on his vomit and landed in the trash can.

The crowd erupted into screaming, cheering and laughing. Doc grimaced and put down a whole milk for Lesion.

"I am going to check on the both you." The doctor said tersely, "Don't think you can wriggle out of this." He made his way to Smoke.

However, he then slipped into a pile of vomit and landed face first into it. A small crowd laughed at him as the other whole milk flew into the trash can.

After a shower or two, Doc was back on his feet and checking vitals. He made both Lesion and Smoke shower and then made them lather in disinfectant. For Lesion he checked his blood.

"It's a miracle your A1c levels and your blood pressure are normal after everything you ate," Doc groaned, "And that ulcer hasn't changed. I suggest you should stop this nonsense and adopt a sensible diet. One that doesn't include chicken fetus or infected water."

"Am I clear to go, Gus?" Lesion smiled, even with the tongue scraper in his mouth.

"Yes, but for the love of god, drink some filtered water next time."

"Thank you for your service." He walked out of there.

"You, Porter, on the other hand," Doc turned to the Brit, "Have acquired food poisoning." Smoke laid on his bed in a fetal position, lowly grumbling. "Your vitals are normal but a diet of beer, expired food, offals, and things not meant to be consumed put you down a similar road. I'm guessing that week old sushi you ate is the culprit."

"...Dammit, I bloody lost," Smoke groaned.

"Sledge, please tell Porter to eat a plain diet of toast, bananas, rice, and apples." Doc turned to Sledge, who carried the sicker Brit into his room.

"I'm sorry for talking shit about Smoke. When you're a dealer, shit gets heated you know," Thermite croaked from the side. Sledge stared wordlessly and then looked at Smoke, gently petting his head.

"As much you want to take him back, I'm not allowing you. He needs to rest. You're welcome to visit as you like." Sledge gave a nod and left.

"Hey, Gus!" A voice greeted from outside.

Doc sprinted to see who it was, then stepped on a dustpan. The handle rose up quickly to swat him in the crotch. He made gargling noises to only see Montagne. The French giant giggled as Doc started muttering French curses. Even Thermite and Smoke has some fun at his expense.

After some rest, Gustave joined the others in cleaning the cafeteria.

* * *

Just as Six gave a speech about food was for eating not meant for means of gambling, the alarm went off. Everyone scrambled to their lockers and armory, but she shushed them. Shutting off the alarm, she made everyone sit back down to the meeting room.

"There are lives in danger, Six!" Jaeger protested.

"Indeed, there are but this is a sensitive mission. There has been a White Mask attack in a mountain town in Colorado, America." Six corrected him, "According to this map, there is a sparse population of people. This mission is sensitive because we need to be quick and quiet. The town is known to be a magnet of controversy. For this reason we're only going to need four operators." The map showed a rectangular state with very little electricity.

"Then who's going to come?" Jaeger continued.

"Rook will be there for riot control and basic defense. Doc will be there to administer aid to both civilians and the others. Mute will come because in an area with so little technology, he can cripple the White Masks easily. Last but not least, Tachanka will come in fortifications and stationary firepower. The rest of you are dismissed."

"That's such a strange setup..." Rook mused, "I understand Gus and me but Tachanka and Mute?" The crowd scattered save Blitz.

"Come back in one piece, yeah?" Blitz gave a kiss on the younger man's forehead.

"PDA, Kotz..." Six sternly admonished him. Blitz scampered away. Turning to the summoned four, "This is what we call Operation Mountain Town." She changed windows on the screen, leading to a layout of the room. It was an abandoned storage unit, mostly empty in the center with a surrounding overhang. "We are known that the White Masks have a hostage in this storage unit," she pointed to the center with a big red X on it.

"So are they camping out in there?" Tachanka asked, "So just an extraction, yes?"

"…Not exactly." Six answered, "But yes."

"Is that it?"

"Yes."

* * *

The four were now on an airplane in transit to the mountain town. Tachanka was eating a bag of gummy worms while the other three twiddled their thumbs.

"Hey, Alexsandr, mind if I have some candy please?" Doc asked, looking at Rook's tempted face. The younger Frenchman was looking towards and away from the candy.

"Well, _bratan_ , I don't have any halal candy."

"I'm not even practicing!" Doc threw his hands up in the air.

"Don't you want an apple instead?" Tachanka sneered, getting into Gustave's face. The doctor pushed him away.

"…Can I have some?" Rook asked, sheepishly, rubbing his knuckles together.

"Of course you can," The Russian grabbed a handful and put it in Rook's hands.

" _Merci_!" Rook's eyes lit up as he voraciously ate the gummy worms. He did a seated giddy dance. It warmed Doc's heart to see him like this to the point of smiling.

" _Stop melting like glaciers and fucking jump already_!" Mute mumbled through his gas mask.

"Shit, you're right, Mute!" Rook finished. The four gathered their parachutes and jumped off the plane one by one.

The sky was dark, with very little cloud cover. Six was right, there was very little lighting save the streetlights and the security lights. The building they were aiming for was incredibly boxy, where cubes were lined up in an L-shape. Peeking over the roofs, they had orange and white stripes. They concluded it was a storage unit and they dove in. Upon twenty kilometers, they pulled out their parachutes and slowly landed. All four approached the ground and prepared themselves, loading their guns.

"The snowfall is sleet at best, we have a clear view," Rook hugged the wall of the biggest storage unit.

" _Da_ , no one on the outside," Tachanka agreed. He was behind Rook, holding a pistol to his chest, "Mute?"

"Aye, setting jammer," Mute whispered, setting up his jammer on the ground. The lights immediately shorted, and darkness fell over. However, the darkness was short when the streetlamps ran on gasoline.

* * *

A boy in a brown hat was playing a video game on his computer, clicking and typing away. He noticed his character stopped moving, and started to call out to his friend over Discord. Every iteration of his friend's name was more panicked until he stopped to notice that all applications said he was disconnected. Panicking, he leapt downstairs to check the router.

Dead.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He went back upstairs to put on his brown coat. Luckily his friend lived very close to him, grabbing his only his cellphone and wallet. He came out of the back door and went through the carved hole. It lead to his friend's house.

His friend was equally frustrated, tossing down his controller. He was pale with red hair. He then put on his green ushanka and parka. The boy took the same initiative and went out of the house.

Both boys met up at the redhead's backyard. The boy in the brown hat started, "Dude, my internet just died!"

"Dude, mine too!" The red head groaned in agreement, "Everything's dark! All dark!" It was true, the light of their cellphones illuminated whatever immediate space around.

"Whatever happened here was not kewl," Another boy spoke up. This one was portly, and he waddled to the other two boys.

"We're gonna see who the hell is behind this," The brown hat boy exclaimed, shining his cellphone forward.

"Maybe we should bring him along too, wait…" The redhead continued.

"Yeah, he's probably fucked the most 'cuz he's poor!" The portly boy commented, "So we gotta help 'em!"

"Shut up, fatass!" The redhead retorted.

"It's true, you fucking Jew!" The fat boy yelled back.

"Guys, guys, shut up!" The boy in the brown hat slammed his hands down, "Our power and our internet are gone so it's important we gotta go see him now!" The boys marched forward to their poor friend's house.

* * *

Rook, Tachanka, Mute, and Doc were lined up at the wall leading up to the entrance of the storage unit. Six's intel told them there was a single hostage. It was strange, just one hostage but with a rather large ransom on her head. There was too little vision to do anything.

With the lack of light, the men decided to rappel up to the upper door. Rook led and opened the door, giving a go-ahead signal using two of his fingers. The other three followed, using the darkness and cat-like tread to cover themselves on the wired balcony. They soon discovered that there was only a single source of light: a lone lamp hanging over a female hostage's head. She was tied up to a chair.

The men silently counted that there was seven White Masks surrounding her. Two flanking the front door, two flanking the back door, and three were near the empty boxes. With nods and head shakes, they swiftly maneuvered themselves into some large boxes in every corner of the room from the balcony. Mute noticed he was very close to a White Mask.

He twirled his way out of cover to grab the man and covered his mouth. The Brit stabbed the man and gently let him down. He gathered some boxes and stayed behind them.

It was Rook's turn to strike as he cracked another White Mask's neck but he let him drop with a thud. This soft thud alerted the rest, turning to Rook. They started shooting at him, but the younger Frenchman rolled behind a large cargo box. This was a good distraction for them, as Tachanka was slowly setting up his LMG before it happened.

Tachanka cornered himself and started to fire with his LMG. He sprayed across the room, catching a good amount of the White Masks. Doc grabbed the woman in the chair and took her into another corner of the room. Mute gave suppressing fire as the doctor was untying the woman.

It went rather smoothly, much to the men's surprise. There was minimal noise from the outside, and none of the terrorists had approached them or the hostage.

"Are you okay, _mademoiselle_?" Doc addressed the woman.

"Yes… yes, I am," She sounded hollow, wringing her hands. She was a petite woman, with pale skin and brown hair in a bun, "Thank you. My name is Anya Bradford, by the way."

"Let's get you out of here, Anya," Tachanka added, helping the woman up.

"I am forever in your debt!" Anya cheerfully cried, hugging Tachanka, "As a former Google developer, I will reward you handsomely!"

"No need, lady."

"Do we have to call anyone?" Mute added.

"No," Anya giggled nervously, "I live near here. I can walk." She gathered herself and tried to walk. Tachanka helped her up again.

* * *

While the three men walked the hostage out, four young boys were hanging out at the back of the room.

"This is kind of creepy," The boy in the brown hat said, "There's only one light."

"Whoa, there's dead bodies!" The boy in the green cap gasped, pointing to a White Mask.

"That hostage was hot! Nice titties and a tight ass!" The boy in the parka whooped, muffled by his orange parka.

"So this is why our power died," The fat boy looked at the jammer, "Ay, turn that shit off so we can play video games again!" He brayed in the direction of the men who were just coming back.

Rook emerged from a large cargo box, clutching his side. His pupils widened in fear at the sight of four young children behind him. The children released a wonderous ' _Ooooh_ ' at the sight of the thickly built French military man in front of them. After a few gasps and coughs, he wheezed, "We're almost done, children. Worry not, we'll turn the jammer off and you children can play. Actually, I don't think you children should be out here this late." He gave a dismissive handwave.

"Rook!" Tachanka jerked in his direction, "I forgot about you for a second!"

"Julien!" Doc turned just as swift, "Don't move." He readied his Stim Pistol, aiming at Rook.

"He's got a gun!" The boy in the green ushanka screamed, moving next to Rook and then backward. Doc twitched, forcing him to pull the trigger early.

The pistol went into the boy's chest, where he let out a panicked wail. The boy in the brown hat held and dragged him back. Tachanka and Mute froze, staring intently at Doc.

"Gus, what the hell?" Rook yelled between coughs, "You shot a child!" Doc then shot again, getting his friend this time, "Ow!" Rook sat against the wall, "Go home children!"

"Wait, let me pull it out!" Doc gasped, running towards the boy in the green ushanka, but the other boys shielded him.

"What the hell man? You shot my best friend!" The brown-hatted boy replied indignantly. His best friend's eyelids were heavy, and he was dragging his feet.

"Yeah, fuck you guys!" The fat boy yelled back, "You drugged him!"

"Let me explain-" Doc tried to speak.

"I already pulled it out," The boy in the orange parka held the syringe sideways and dropped it, "Thanks and no thanks, sir."

Suddenly, the ginger boy's eyes widen and he stood upright. Next, he took a huge breath and shook his arms out. It was like he was never shot. "Dude, I can breathe again! Holy shit!"

"…That was the epinephrine, child. Are you alright?" Doc retracted his hands in confusion.

"Sure, I have a little bleeding from my chest, but I can really breathe again!"

"Are you sure?"

"I promise."

Doc gave the child a bandage, "If you have any issues at all, please call this number," He procured a business card and put it in his pocket. Rook remembered he had some candy and handed it over to them, "You children need to get home _now_."

After a chorus of ' _thank you sirs'_ and ' _good night'_ , all four men waved goodbye awkwardly as the boys walked back to their homes.

"Six, the hostage is safe and now in custody." Mute spoke into the radio.

* * *

A/N: I know this is a departure of what I usually do, but I hope this is enjoyable to read! R&R!


	2. Half Heart Full Consequences

Within a few hours and some sleep, the four men were back in Herefordshire. They were standing in Six's office, sitting up straight and eyes alert. Six was in the same position, wearing an intimidating look, eyes screwed on all of them.

"You men did a great job in Colorado," Six started, "There was minimal noise from the town itself and the police handed the White Masks' identities to us. The town and the hostage are indebted to your efforts. Tachanka, good job keeping your LMG use to a minimum. Mute, excellent job with the jammer. Rook, excellent job with leading the stealth line into the storage unit. Doc, excellent job with recovering the hostage and silently returning her to her home, but…"

The other three men looked at Doc. Doc grimaced at what came next.

"You shot an eight-year-old boy! Eight!" Six pounded the table, glaring at him with indignance and horror.

"Six, that was with my Stim Pistol. I was supposed to aim for Rook, who sustained injuries in the firefight-" The doctor tried to defend himself, spluttering.

"No matter what it doesn't look good for the operation! Gun, stim pistol, or whatever… To aim such at a child is a liability to any outsider! It's a miracle that the media didn't pick this up at all!" She threw her hands towards him, "The rest of you are dismissed." The men dispersed, leaving Doc in his chair.

"…Doc fucked that one up this time, huh?" Mute muttered.

"Guys, Gus didn't mean it!" Rook gasped.

"Haha! Doc the Child-Shooter! Isn't that fun?" Tachanka laughed. Mute giggled a little, "Imagine that going on VK!"

"Not funny!" Rook was taken aback.

Six closed the door behind herself and Doc. She sat back down on her desk, crossing her arms. She pulled out an iPad from her drawer and opened it, setting it down and horizontally. "However, you were smart enough to give your contact to the little boy. His parents have been trying to contact to you, but you've been busy. His father is a lawyer, so I suggest you be careful."

"Okay," Doc gulped. He turned the iPad towards himself. The Skype call was now starting. He scanned the name. It was rather Jewish sounding. He bit his lower lip and wrung his hands.

Instead he saw a heavyset woman with red hair in a beehive style. She was crossing her arms and sulking. The woman let out a roar, "I'm the mother of the boy you shot! Be prepared to get sued!"

"Ma' am, miss, it was an accident!" Doc scratched his neck, flustered.

"Now honey," A man with dark hair and a yarmulke came into the picture, petting her shoulder, "The man said it was an accident. Our son says he's okay." He turned to Doc, "Hi, it seems like you are a distinguished doctor. I'm the boy's father."

"Yes, I am," Doc started with a small smile, "Decades of experience and served for Doctors Without Borders. Sir, I swear I didn't mean to shoot your son. I am sorry to cause such a situation in the first place." He bowed his head.

"Dad! Dad!"

"Not now, son," The man slowly pushed his son away, who was hopping up to the camera, "We wanted to discuss the incident though. Actually, my son is here so I'll let him speak." He picked the boy up and let him sit on a tall chair.

"Look, so basically I was peeking at the hostage scene. And I thought you had a gun-"

"Stim Pistol." Doc corrected the boy.

"Anyway, I decided to defend my friend that was beside me. And then I got the bullet to the chest. My parka took most of it, but it made a prick in my chest. It hurt a lot and I screamed but you shot your friend too. I realized it wasn't so bad."

"It caused an ugly scar on your chest, honey," His mother snarked at him.

"Yes, mom but it's gonna heal," The boy continued, "I forgot to tell you this, and so did my mom and dad, but I have asthma. It's been acting up lately but a few minutes after you shot me that chemical with the funny name-"

His mother made an audible gasp.

"Mom!" The boy yelled, blushing, "Back to this. After you shot me, I could breathe again. It usually acts up at this time of year, but I could breathe so much better. I still can breathe again, thank you Dr. Kateb!" He raised his hands in the air with joy, cheering.

"It's my duty, _petit garçon_ ," Doc gave a fuller smile and relieved look on his face.

"Don't think you've won this yet, sir," His father moved further into the camera, "What was the chemical you gave my son?"

"Epinephrine, sir."

"What a coincidence, that's the major ingredient in my son's medication." The mother relaxed her shoulders and hugged her son.

"It's been difficult for him to get medication," She finally spoke, "I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Thank you, kind sir." She gave a large, tearful smiles and squeezed her son tight, "My baby's alright!"

"It's not a permanent solution, but it tides one over in the heat of battle."

"Well, I'm glad our son is safe. Instead of suing you, perhaps I can turn his prescriptions over to you?"

"Gladly." Doc pulled out a notebook and wrote the boy's name and an asthma medication with a high epinephrine count, "I'm relieved we can resolve this problem."

"Likewise, sir." Just like that, the Skype call ended. Doc reclined in his seat and exhaled air from the depths of his lungs.

"Well done Gustave Kateb," Six's voice had an inflection that the man hadn't heard in a long time. It was one of warmth and deep respect. The director even smiled so widely that it radiated such feelings.

"I'm happy to help and to atone for my mistakes, Six. I bid you a good day."

"I bid you a better one, doctor."

Doc then slammed his face in the door.

* * *

It was chicken tenders night in the cafeteria. The hustle and bustle of every operator coming in filled the room. The Americans were on kitchen duty, serving tenders, fries, and sauce to the hungry people.

"A big fucking batch coming right up!" Thermite dunked an entire bag of government-issued chicken tenders into the fryer. He proceeded to do the same thing to the government-issued fries into the fryer next to it.

Ash and Pulse were serving while Castle was cleaning and loading the fried food into the chafing dishes.

"Sucks to be you, Ash," Valkyrie was the latest in line, holding out her tray.

"Hm, not so bad," Ash replied, "This is shit recruits should be doing." She scooped the long tenders and fries onto a plate and gave them above the sneeze guard between them.

"Thanks!" Valkyrie went on her way, no forgetting to stop and fill an entire glass full of sweet iced tea. Doc was next in line. He rubbed his eyes, thinking this was a perfect time to get outside of the office and not think of paper work.

"Hey, didn't you shoot an eight-year-old boy?" Pulse asked, filling the plate with chicken tenders and fries.

"That's water under the bridge now," Doc groaned, "Thank you." He limply grabbed his plate on put it on his tray.

He was about to slide away entirely when Ash piped up, "Is he dead? They _did_ say that doctors make terrible soldiers."

"The boy is not dead. He is very much alive, and I have resolved all the issues associated with such!" He threw his hands up in the air and left the queue immediately.

Bad news did travel quickly. He scanned for people to sit with.

Rook and Blitz were snuggling and sharing tenders, with the German making a lanyard in GIGN colors. Blitz also had a lanyard in GSG-9 colors hanging off his phone.

"I'm glad you're safe, _liebling_ ," Blitz gave Rook a peck on the cheek.

"'Tis was a scratch, _mon petit chou_ ," Rook giggled, feeding his lover a French fry. Feeling intrusive in such a situation, Doc walked to the other aisle. His heart felt strangely twisted after seeing that.

Vigil and Echo were talking, sharing their dinner with a small cup of _gochujang_. "You told me that Grace liked video games," Echo started, "But she didn't want to play League with me."

"Yes, but she doesn't like League," Vigil replied, "Real women play Dota 2! Grace isn't just some standard Korean girl. Give her some damned respect!"

"…But I'm just trying to offer what I have," Echo continued, "I don't mean to sully her tastes."

"Perhaps try something like a MMO?" Vigil suggested. Hibana was marching up to the table, arms crossed and frowning.

"Enatsu-san, I swear to god please do not hack my account," She warned, "I made that for my sister and I to get through college. Please make your own account." She walked away.

"…What was that about?" Vigil asked, with a hint of fear in his voice.

"…I borrowed her Final Fantasy 14 account to flirt with Grace. Didn't go well." Both men buried their heads in their hands. He lifted to see Doc standing across from them, "I see our video game talk has intrigued you. Too bad children aren't meant to be shot at in there either."

Doc shook his head and walked away.

He then passed the SAS table. The four men sat closely together. Smoke nibbled on a French fry. "This chip is pretty piss poor."

"It's what you get when you make the NHS do it," Thatcher remarked.

"No, it's when a Yank does it that makes it piss poor," Mute added, "Speaking of Yanks, there's the honorary Yank right here!" He pointed to Doc.

"Honorary yank! Honorary yank! Honorary yank!" The SAS chanted.

"Apparently shooting children is like eating chips," Sledge commented, "You can't just eat one. Who knows, Doc here will be committing a school shooting, like any backwards yank would!" The SAS guffawed at the statement.

That comparison hurt, as he was coldly rejected again. He moved to another table.

The Spetsnaz too had a table of their own, including Finka. They were a happy, rowdy bunch, with Tachanka making impressions.

"Shit! Ass! Titty sprinkles!" Tachanka yelled, faking a twitching motion in his shoulder.

"Damn! Shit!" Kapkan joined in, flapping his hand.

" _Cyka bylat_!" Fuze screamed, snapping his fingers.

"…Hey, if you practiced those more you could fool the UN into funding us more," Glaz noted. He was done eating and was now sketching in his notebook.

"I don't know about that…" Finka admonished, "It's deceitful and rude."

"Oooh, oh, oh, I got a good one!" Tachanka suggested, "ONE TIME KAPKAN AND I TOUCHED WIENERS!" The whole table went silent, "…Or not."

Finka's face went from concern to genuine anger. She swiftly pinned the larger man down on the table, with one hand on his head and the other hand on her tray. Her face was red, and she was roaring, "WHEN? WHEN DID YOU TOUCH WEINERS WITH KAPKAN?" She smashed the tray on his free arm.

"A LONG TIME AGO! WE WERE MUCH YOUNGER BACK THEN! IT NOT LIKE TODAY!" Tachanka yelled in fear, "I didn't mean to yell that one. It just came out!"

"LIKE YOU DECIDED TO FOOL AROUND WITH KAPKAN!" Finka yelled even more, slamming the tray down harder on his free arm. The others were trying to peel her off of him and massaging the larger man.

For the first time, Doc rejected a table. He was at the back now, near the door. Clash and Montagne were at the next table, eating fries.

"Leave to it a bunch of yanks to muck up chips," Clash ate her French fry with disappointment. Montagne motioned Doc to sit, and then hugged him tightly.

"You made a mistake and you fixed it, Gus," Montagne whispered to him, "They'll learn."

"I hope," Doc choked back tears.

* * *

The next morning was somewhat better.

The team just finished their morning run as their heard an alarm blare through the building. Everyone rushed into the armory and the weapons area. CNN was on TV.

There was an acid attack from the White Masks in Mosul. There was no silencing from Six this time, where she needed all hands on deck. Everyone loaded up into the helicopters and made their way into the city, gas masks equipped.

First came the intelligence people: Twitch for the drones, Valkyrie for the cameras, and Maverick for translation.

Second came for riot and rescue reasons: Doc and Finka for medical treatment, Clash, Blitz, and Montagne for riots, and Castle for the shields.

Third then came everyone else. They stormed the center of Mosul, taking out any White Masks in the vicinity. Anyone that wasn't shooting were evacuating civilians and distributing gas masks. Doc and Finka were treating anyone who were injured. Castle put up his barricades.

Twitch looked up from her PDA, taking inventory. Everyone was now safe, with most if not all civilians evacuated. She announced, "There are seven White Masks left in the center."

Finka gave her last patient the remainder of an IV. She removed her nitrile gloves and replaced them with Hazmat ones. Adjusting her hair, she stepped forward, "I will go."

"Finka are you sure?" Tachanka leapt off his LMG and hovered around her. "I can go. It's not hard."

"No, I am well. If I'm going to serve, I'll serve in any way I can," Finka brushed off Tachanka. She grabbed her guns, "Anyone else coming?"

"I will," Doc volunteered, "She's right and I myself should uphold that duty." He too started preparing to fight.

"Don't shoot any children this time," Bandit muttered to himself. Blitz glared at him, which made Bandit retreat into the wall.

"I don't feel right seeing both of our medics fight alone," Maverick added, "I'm in."

"Then I'll provide cover from a distance." Glaz readied his rifle and found a spot.

"Everyone good?" Finka asked.

"Yes!" Everyone chorused.

Finka, Doc, and Maverick went inside the town center. Maverick read the bathroom signs and went into the men's room.

"Nothing to see yet. Let me get my thermal sights, over," Glaz turned on his radio.

"I'm in the men's bathroom, no noise yet, over," Maverick replied on the radio. Almost all of the acid clouds dissipated, leaving only small wisps extending from the porous furniture. The town center was dark and eerily empty, as the power was shorted in the initial panic. It was a marble building with white linoleum floors and pale peach walls. The intricate trims could prove as distraction, but Doc and Finka were above such things. The remaining two slowly navigated the open hall, weapons drawn.

After a few minutes of navigating, the two advanced up the stairs. The readied their aim upon seeing a White Mask, but his body instantly crumpled to the floor.

"Tango down." Maverick whispered. He made a small hole in the wall above the toilet with his torch.

They saw another White Mask next to the first one, but he crumpled too.

"Tango down." Glaz said, finally installing his thermal sights, "There are five more in the vicinity."

Both gave a nod and saw two come out of the office. Each shot them, leaving three more left to hunt. Glaz shot the furthest one, leaving two.

Maverick came out of the men's bathroom and went upstairs, creating a hole in the wall at the back and shot another one in the head. There was one left.

To Doc and Finka's surprise, the last one was a bomber, emerging from the computer room. His heavy breathing made both step back. However, Finka couldn't step back.

"It's acting up." Finka felt her blood run cold at her words.

"Finka, fall back," Doc commanded.

"I can't," she could feel her bravado slipping. The sweat was pouring off her brows

"He's coming for you!" Doc almost yelled.

"I tried my nanomachines. I can feel them work, but I still can't move..." she tried to shuffle back, but it was slow and heavy. The bomber was lumbering before them. Doc was confused, he saw Lera take her medication cocktail this morning. Her neuropathy should've been kept to minimum. Why was it acting up now of all times? He realized the bomber was going faster, now walking. With little time to act, he scooped her up in his arms and ran.

"We request back up! A bomber has been spotted! I repeat, we need back up immediately!" Doc yelled into the radio, sprinting out of the center as fast as possible. The bomber started sprinting too. Finka turned back and started shooting. "Don't expend yourself, Lera!"

"It's not about you!" She screamed. She managed to damage him, making him go back to his lumbering step.

Glaz heard the distress message and finished reloading his rifle. He focused on the bomber's head and pulled the trigger. What the sniper expected was to see him crumpled into the ground. What happened was that he activated his bomb just as he was shot, creating an explosion that destroyed a part of the town center. Maverick ran out upon seeing the bomber and met both Doc and Finka outside.

"Are you okay?" Maverick asked Finka, then turning to Doc, "Was she shot?"

"No," Doc answered, letting Maverick hold her.

"I am well, but it hurts to move," Finka said softly but stiffly. Helicopters came in to pick up the cluster of operators. The operation was a clean success, but it was more work for Doc.

* * *

After some debriefing, everyone was back in Herefordshire. Doc and Finka were in the medical office. Finka was given another dosage of her medication.

Strangely, she could move without pain again.

"...But I had my nanomachines," Finka was still distraught, "I felt the energy surge, but I couldn't move." She laid on the medical bench, face contorted in confusion.

"I find it strange too," Doc replied, "We just came up with the cocktail too. It takes the body a week or so to get used to it. You shouldn't be accustomed to it that fast."

"But you gave me another dosage and it worked. I am functional now. I don't get it either."

"You didn't feel any different when I saw you take your medication this morning?"

"I did not."

"Hmmmm," Doc put his hand to his chin, eyebrows screwed, "Having your neuropathy act up during a mission is not only inconvenient but also dangerous. Perhaps both of us should be more observant. You've had a long day. You should rest now."

"Indeed, I shall... I'll tell you when I feel something suspicious." Finka got up from the medical bench and went to her room, "You rest too, Gustave." She gave a hand wave on the way out.

Gustave relaxed and look around on his table and documents. Nothing was wrong or out of place. He kept a habit of keeping his workspace clean and organized and it served him well. He checked the drawers and saw nothing out of place as well. The next place he looked was the medicine cabinet.

There he found the culprit.

He switched the young boy's medication with Finka's. Realizing he mailed Finka's cocktail to the young boy and administered his medication to Finka, the doctor slapped his palm to his forehead.

"Shit!"

* * *

Earlier...

The mountain town moved past the hostage situation quickly and quietly. There wasn't much word or media coverage about ever since the former Google developer returned to her house. The young boys were now playing at recess, pitted against their other classmates.

The brown hatted boy threw the ball at the opposing team. He missed and someone on the opposing team hit him back. With a dejected groan, he walked out of the game. The green hatted boy started coughing.

"Hey, time out!" He managed to gasp out. He pulled out an inhaler and used it, sucking up the new medicine he received. "Okay, I'm good!"

The game resumed with a new twist. He started to glow bright blue as he started to catch the ball and slam it into other student's stomachs. He started to make a childish imitation of a grizzly bear's roar and continued to throw the ball at other people and catch its bounce. The loud bouncing and clanking sounds from the impact of other people alerted the teachers.

The teachers then grabbed the still screaming boy away from the blacktop and to goodness knows where hyperactive children went.

* * *

The doctor walked out of the office to knock on Finka's room. Her sign was a hanging wooden one, with raised wooden letters saying "Finka" with the bottom with "Lera" in the Russian alphabet. The wood was distressed and stained, which made it look quaint in such a high-tech operation. She did say it was a present from a postdoc fellow.

" _Da_?" Lera called out. Doc could hear shuffling approaching the door.

"It's Gustave," Doc choked out. He began to scratch the back of his neck, gulping and looking down.

She opened the door. She was wearing Tachanka's old workout clothes and had messy hair. "Ah, Gus, come in." The man came in and sat in her desk. She closed the door behind them.

"I have something to confess, Lera," Doc inhaled and then exhaled the sentence. Deeply.

"What is it?" She cocked her head in fascination. She never saw Doc unnerved like this before.

"I…" Doc's eyes flicked left and right until he could face her head on, "I swapped your medication with the boy's."

"WHAT?" Lera straightened up, scowling at him, "How could you forget something that important? **I could've died in Mosul!** " She crossed her arms, now glaring at him. She sat down on her bed, now scooting backwards into the wall.

"I just…" Doc found himself stumbling, "I'm sorry, Lera. I wanted to make it up to the boy I shot so I took responsibility for his asthma medication. I sent it before the Mosul operation thinking that it was purely diluted epinephrine."

"So, I took epinephrine only?" She threw her hands up in the air, indignant, "That explains why I had energy, but I still couldn't move!"

"Yes, I know it was stupid of me. Goodness knows what your cocktail could do to an asthmatic eight-year-old boy…"

"And goodness knows how ineffective pure diluted epinephrine is on a woman with a debilitating neuropathy!" She screamed back, "I'm aware that you're a bright and generous man, but these mistakes are _ridiculous_! First you shoot a child and now you swap out my meds to make it up to the child! I understand children are our future, but please be careful Gustave!"

"I'm sorry, Lera. I really am. I promise to check the labels further before I do anything. And possibly go to the shooting range more often…" Doc said, then declining to a mumble.

"Promise me, please!" Lera's voice lowered to a normal volume, "Do not perpetuate a downward spiral! Think and rest! _**Think and rest**_!" She grasped her hands together, "You are a human being too! I know human beings can make mistakes, but you have the power to prevent or fix them! Please prevent any more!"

"I am aware, Lera," Doc sighed, almost silently, "I'll take my leave." He walked to the door, "Good night."

He closed it behind him and leaned heavily against the wall next to it. Heavily dejected, he slumped to the floor, sitting. First, he made himself the laughingstock of Team Rainbow for shooting a child with a stim pistol. Now, he disappointed his closest research associate in attempt to make it up to said child. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

He prayed for a few minutes before getting up and walking back to his room, which was in the other wing of the base.

His room was extremely basic at best, if not for the piles of paperwork and hard drives surrounding his desk. His bedsheets were neat but eerily clean from lack of use. Dust gathered everywhere to the point he had to do casual sweep before stripping down to his undershirt and briefs. It was a long time since he had slept in his actual bedroom.

As he was settling into his bed, he started to feel nostalgic. He started to recall his tours with Doctors Without Borders and his private practice. The patients were lovely and thankful of his actions and his associates had high hopes or respect for him. It was surreal the chance of his reputation slipping away was finally a real one.

And it _scared_ him. He thought of the people who would hate him if he kept going on the slippery slope he set himself up for: Six, Lera, Montagne, Lion (he knew he would rejoice in such an occasion), Emmanuelle, and worst of all…

 **Rook**.

Rook didn't deserve to be subject to this. He was an upstarting young man with a talent with marksmanship. He was kind and enthusiastic, great with secrets. His joy was infectious to anyone in the base and always stood up to any bigotry or bullying that occurred. He was bigger than the average soldier and that made him quite sturdy in battle. While Montagne was an extremely close associate in a professional sense, Rook was a genuine friend in all their years in the GIGN. It wasn't a surprise that he won Elias's heart, and that made the young man more the happier.

Yet Doc felt some envy towards the German. Rook was rather attractive: bright big blue eyes, dark thick hair, clear pale complexion, and a thickly built figure complete with great muscular legs. The doctor knew more about his body than anyone else in the operation but as of late it was starting to influence him. He knelt at the middle of his bed, mind now active.

' _Blitz is lucky to fuck an ass as fantastic as Julien's_ ,' He thought to himself as an erection sprouted through his briefs, ' _I want to too, but I don't think Julien would be happy about that._ ' He pulled his briefs down and started to rub himself with his thumb and index finger wrapped around it. ' _When was the last time I did this?_ '

He lazily stared at the ceiling, still rubbing himself casually to the thought of his best friend. Sweat dropped from his forehead. With his other hand, he began to rub his nipples. Breath hitching, he began to rub himself faster, earning a few low grunts.

' _Medical regulations and HIPPA be damned, I'd fuck the shit out of Julien if I could!_ ' He started to fantasize being in Blitz's position during those late nights. Aching for more, he used his whole hand to jerk himself off, from head to shaft.

After what seemed to be like a half hour, he felt like he wasn't going anywhere. His loins still burned, and his mind was still on Rook. He leapt out of bed and rutting himself. With the other hand, he shuffled for any possible indication of Julien within his records.

They existed, in fact there was volumes, but it was too clinical for his tastes. He didn't want a reminder of his work life. However, he went into his drawer and produced a condom. He pulled the condom out and covered his member with it.

However, there was something he could use. The clinical, altruistic side of him screamed in protest but it was silenced by the sensation of briefs skimming the head of his erection. He pulled them back on and put on a lab coat in the case some poor soul decided to mock him further. He left his room with cat-like tread.

His destination was Emmanuelle "Twitch" Pichon's room. Her signage was of glitter and gold on a background of baby blue. He opened the door to see the woman absent. Taking a quick look around the room, he spotted the object of desire: a gaudy pink and blue scrapbook aptly named "Adventures of Emmanuelle". He swiftly grabbed it off the nightstand and disappeared back into his room.

The walk made his erection twitch even more, so he leapt onto the bed immediately while leafing through the said scrapbook. The scrapbook was a collection of her memories of school, army cadets, her robotics competitions, and the GIGN. He desperately flipped to the GIGN section, ignoring the blueprints and her selfies.

There were _years_ of material in there. He was rutting himself harder and was more vocal, making more grunts and groans. He was riding the wave further and further into climax, slowly but surely.

What sped him up was the page of them posing after their recent aquatic training. Rook was wearing a particularly tight speedo. Doc could remember that day _perfectly_. It took him all of his focus and willpower to not stare but he snuck some looks when he wasn't actively doing the exercise. Valkyrie was a brutal coach but seeing Rook almost naked pulled him through.

A few months later, those memories were pulling him through the night. He climaxed with a hiss, his vision going to white. He collapsed spread eagle on the bed, huffing himself back to normal.

Resisting the post-orgasm slumber, he threw his briefs and lab coat in the hamper and wiped everything with a paper towel. He then pulled the condom out but…

He burst through the thing. _He tore it apart_.

Doc reeled back in horror, throwing the condom in the wastebin, and wiping everything again. He wiped his hands with hand sanitizer until he spotted a large glob of come on that page. He reeled further back in horror and tried his damnedest to get it out with another paper towel. Luckily the glob of come came off the page, but it left a large white imprint. His mind scanned for what he could do, given how he had no craft supplies on his person.

Running his fingers on the lettering, he realized the letters came off with no trace. Snapping his other set of fingers, he pulled off a word to cover the glob and closed the scrapbook. In a new lab coat and cat-like tread, he returned the scrapbook in its rightful place and passed out on his bed.

* * *

A/N: I'm aware this was very long compared to what I do, but I hope you enjoy it! Also I'm aware of how degenerate the last part was.


	3. Boys Like You

The halls of Herefordshire rang with agonizing high-pitched scream.

The birds scattered from the base, into the cloudy sky. It was mid-afternoon, where everyone was settled into their training and scattered to their individual work. The source of the scream was Emmanuelle "Twitch" Pichon, who was in her room about to gather some soldering supplies for her drones. She was now kneeling and crying into her hands.

"There, there Emmanuelle," Mira comforted her, patting her back, "Whatever sick _bastardo_ did this will get his due." She motioned to the scrapbook with the come stain on it. "Clash, will you join us to fix it?"

Clash, on the other hand, wasn't enthused. Fists balled up and teeth gritted, she growled, "I think I have an idea on who did this, hold on." She left the room, pounding a fist to her palm.

It wasn't far until she met Montagne, who was in the boxing room. Giving a roar fitting of a constable, she slammed him against the wall.

"Clash what the hell?" Montagne wasn't exactly scared but was rather offended to be randomly slammed outside of training time.

"Did you do it, Gilles?" Clash growled.

"Do what?" The giant shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't play dumb with me, tosser!" She slammed him again, but somewhat softer, "Someone wanked in Twitch's scrapbook and I feel it's you!" She glared into his eyes.

Montagne froze. She held him still.

"I didn't do it!" He raised his forearms as she pinned his biceps down.

"How do I know it's not you?" She lowered her voice.

"Because I recognize the value of that scrapbook to Twitch!" Montagne defended himself, "It's a prized possession full of her memories involving us!"

"Some deviants use that as fuel for their crimes!" Clash brought up another argument.

"I am not a deviant!" The man defended himself again.

"Man, deviant, what's the difference?"

"Men like me look at pictures and videos on the internet to get their rocks off," Montagne clarified, "Deviants use prized memorabilia to get off! And I am not a deviant!" Clash dropped him and walked away.

"You convinced me, Gilles." She raised a fist. The large Frenchman brushed it off and continued boxing.

* * *

Rook was in Jackal's room, asking him something.

"Jackal…" Rook softly greeted, fumbling with his fingers.

Jackal didn't hear at first. He was polishing his goggles, earphones in to the sweet sounds of Bachata.

"…Jackal!" Rook raised his voice, clapping his hands together. The Spaniard then pulled an earphone out, seeing that the shield provider was there. He stopped the music on his phone to greet him.

"Oh, hello Rook," Jackal waved, "Sorry about that. What is it that you need?"

"Erm…" Rook replied, scratching his cheek. Both men were in casual clothing, where Rook wore some fitting grey sweatpants and a blue hooded jacket and Jackal wore a loose dark violet jumpsuit. "I kind of need your help."

"What is it, _amigo_? Where is Blitz anyway?" Jackal wasn't exactly blind.

"Well, I'm sure you heard what happened to Emmanuelle…"

"Yes, Mira told me. She gathered some supplies from my room to help her but let me finish and then I can help you."

"Oh, thank you so much. Blitz went with Jaeger and Bandit to take care of a hostage in Munich. I know he'll make it." Rook smiled in confidence. Jackal finished cleaning and then equipped the Eyenox onto his head.

"That's such a small group. I'm guessing Six wanted it quiet again this time?" Jackal set out of the door.

"Yeah…"

* * *

The two set out to Twitch's room. Jackal traced all possible steps to and from her door while Rook set up all alibis possible.

"I only went to Emmanuelle to comfort her and to repair her scrapbook," Mira explained.

Clash frowned, shifting back, "Pichon was crying and I asked Montagne. He didn't do it either." Rook nodded in reply, knowing that his elder friend wouldn't do that.

"I swear it's not me!" Montagne sighed.

"I know it's _not_ you!" Rook reminded, "Just do you know anyone else that came into Twitch's room?"

"…I've no idea. I'm assuming her scrapbook was damaged overnight because everyone else was sleeping."

"That's what I thought from the footprints," Jackal agreed, "This carpet makes it tough, but I think I can get this. It should be a man after all, so any and all women are out of the question. Actually, we should call a meeting for all the men here!"

"Let's hold it in the cafeteria!" Rook suggested.

* * *

The men all pooled into the cafeteria, sitting down at one long table. Chatter filled the air as some men gather snacks from the vending machine and ate them. Rook closed the door and Jackal got up on the table and clapped twice. Silence fell once more in the cafeteria as everyone looked up at him.

" _Mi amigos_ … If you haven't heard, some man pumped his baby batter into Twitch's scrapbook last night." Ryad called out, "She's incredibly distraught and we should take it upon ourselves to find out who did it."

"Not only is it disgusting and indecent, but it's a rarer form of sexual misdemeanor assault," Rook added.

"…Not to distract, but where is Doc?" Vigil raised his hand.

"I've went to him and he said he'll speak with Ryad himself. He's busy with paperwork right now," Rook added.

"First question," Ryad started, "If you were sleeping, please stand up." A large cluster of men stood up.

"Jackal, do you ride your teeny tiny _bicicleta_ to the objective like this?" Tachanka protested, "It isn't fair when most of us are standing up!"

"Do you ride _tu madre_ to the objective then?" Jackal shrugged his shoulders, tossing a comeback, "Not everyone is standing up, _idiota_." He pointed to Maverick, Vigil, Echo, Buck, Glaz, and Lion. Rightfully, he ignored the booing and jeering of the rest. "Second question… If you were in your room, stand up." Everyone stood up but Buck.

"I was painting for chrissake!" Glaz defended himself, "I was speaking to Clash's friends on WhatsApp!"

"We were playing Dota 2 together!" Vigil and Echo spluttered, "If anything, we're the least guilty here!"

"I was reading _The History of the Middle East_!" Maverick set up his alibi, "Does it look like I can adjust from Middle Eastern time to Greenwich time in less than a week?"

"But you can fuck with a thermostat within less than a day? Come on!" Maestro spat back.

"Can we please get along for the Lord's sake?" Lion quipped, "I was praying for all of your souls so I'm innocent regardless."

"Do not give us that 'Good Catholic Boy' shit, Lion," Maestro groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're as disgusting as Doc at his worst and it got old just like Maverick's goat milk in the fridge."

"I promise I didn't do anything…" Buck raised his hands in the air awkwardly. Everyone's eyes were on the Canadian.

"You weren't sleeping, and you weren't in your room," Ryad retook rein of the conversation, "What and where were you even doing last night?"

"I was feeding the dogs near the killhouse. I have no feelings for Pichon, I promise," Buck panicked, eyes shifting left and right.

"You don't have to have feelings for someone in order to masturbate on their scrapbook," Rook interjected.

"I didn't even know Pichon _had_ a scrapbook!" Buck exclaimed.

"Okay, I've had enough of you," Ryad rolled forward, thumb and index finger around the Canadian's neck. He let go to roll back up and announce that everyone else was free to go. "Let's talk about it further, shall we?"

"Please trust me, Jackal. I am innocent."

"Let's see about that."

"While you take care of Buck," Rook added, "I'm going to talk to Doc myself. He'll respond better to me."

"Thank you, Rook." All three walked out of the cafeteria. Ryad and Buck went into an office while Rook went into Doc's.

* * *

"Gus."

"Gus…"

"Gus?" Rook echoed in the eerily empty office. Usually someone slept in a cot or two but no one did today. Not even the benches were occupied. The soft and low hums of the machines were the only things sounding with him.

But knowing Gustave, Rook went deeper into his main office, where the real examination room was. Given the operations, he could see why the doctor would be stuck with paperwork.

"Gus?" Rook called out once more, slowly opening the door to see the doctor diligently working on his papers. He gave a familiar gentle touch to shut his laptop and put it on another table. He then gave a well-practiced flick of a wrist to flip over his papers. Then, he wheeled the doctor from his desk and promptly sat on the desk. He landed with a soft puff that scattered some papers around, bouncing his legs lightly.

Rook looked down at Doc with a wide and warm smile, "There you are, Gus."

The doctor gulped, feeling his face heat up, "Ju-Julien? What is the big idea?"

"You look stressed," Rook pinched Doc's cheek.

"Don't be so childish," Doc muttered, smacking it away.

"I can't help it when I'm twenty years younger than you."

"What is going on outside anyway?"

"You hadn't heard?" Rook's face turned into a serious one, "Some jerked into Twitch's precious scrapbook and Jackal and I are investigating who did it."

"Not Emmanuelle!" Doc gasped.

"Yes, her… unfortunately," Rook sighed, "She was so upset. Even Clash almost beat up Gilles over it. According to Jackal, Buck probably did it."

"How degenerate…"

"However, I knew you couldn't make it so I've wanted to ask you a few questions," Rook's legs stopped bouncing, "Were you sleeping last night?"

"Of course, after all these events I _need_ to sleep," Doc answered with a hint of offense, "I don't have the time to break into our friend's room to defile someone's memorabilia!"

"Juuust checking…" Julien whistled, "Anyway, were you sleeping in your room last night?"

"Well, I actually did for the first time in a long time," Doc confessed.

"Any particular reason, Gus? You don't really sleep in your room."

"I guess none, I was _that_ tired," He chuckled. Rook snapped his fingers.

"I remember your room is very close to Emmanuelle's. Jackal did say he found your footprints, but they weren't solid enough to say anything. Although he did find traces of your finger prints on her scrapbook…" Doc put a hand over Rook's mouth.

"I think you reached the conclusion, you're a clever one, aren't you?" Doc nervously chuckled.

"But why, Gus?" Rook pulled the doctor's hand off his mouth, "Emmanuelle did nothing to you; or do you feel something for her?" He dropped his hand, "Is there something you want to say? I've been concerned with how you've been doing lately. It's not you to mess up so much… People are getting scared and pissed at you. _Why_ , Gustave?"

What happened next the rookie didn't expect.

Doc stood up and kissed Rook on the lips. The doctor kneaded his fingers on the rookie's shoulders. He didn't expect the younger's lips to feel so soft on his. What was more surprising was that Rook wasn't pulling away or resisting. The younger one was even kissing him back.

The older then decided to incorporate his tongue, pushing it inside the younger's mouth. Rook welcomed it, letting his tongue slither against his. By the time they separated, they were both gasping for air, with a trail of saliva connecting their mouths.

"Words failed me, so forgive me," Doc tried to be blunt despite blushing.

"Do…" Rook was trembling in place, blushing too, "You know I'm with Blitz?"

"I'm aware you're with Blitz."

"Blitz would be so angry," Rook chuckled, putting a palm to his forehead, "I never expected you to be so bold."

"It's a cruel arrangement, isn't it?" Doc chuckled back, "The moment Blitz is gone I jump on you."

"And here I am not resisting your advances."

"I like you, Julien, really. You're so attractive, so youthful, so kind, and so loving. I pity Blitz."

"I've liked you too, Gustave. You're a generous silver fox who really sees and wants to be good in the world," Rook sighed heavily, looking away, "But Blitz asked first. And he's closer to me in age and personality."

"I know. I'm a fox in a good and bad way." Doc then started to kiss him again, this time a French kiss, "Save the lecture about fidelity. I've fucked up enough."

"It's surreal to see you go this low, Gus. I'm angry but at the same time…" Rook took a breath, "I'm aware of how you look at me."

"Perfect storm to snap, huh? _C'est la vie_ ," They continued to kiss, slowly opening each other's clothes, "Let's take this to the bench." Doc settled Rook on the medical bench, jacket open and prone. Breaking the kiss, the doctor began to run his mouth over the younger's body. He started to nip at his neck, taking in all of it. Rook let out a shudder when he nudged his nose on his Adam's apple.

Satisfied with his work, Doc continued to nip lower. He breathed into Rook's chest, flitting his tongue across and squeezing a nipple.

"…Gus!" Rook let out a moan.

"…You could kill me right now," The doctor dryly came to a realization, "I'm nearly naked and defenseless and we are in the middle of infidelity… Why don't you?" He then continued to nip his soft abs and roam his fingers on his shoulders and arms. Rook let out a staggered breath as his sole answer. "I'll let you think."

Feeling his own frustration, Doc pulled himself up to kiss the younger again. This time, they started to rub their members together. Rook pulled him closer as they amped the intensity between them. The doctor began to pull the younger one's pants down. Rook pulled the doctor's scrubs down in kind. Doc then pulled the younger's jaw closer to him as they continued kissing. Both wiggled out of their pants, leaving them in their own underwear.

Doc took a sly smile and tugged at the waistband of Rook's underwear. "I'm serious, Julien. Why haven't you protested once?"

"…Because I know you, Gus," Rook gathered everything in him to answer, "Blitz is going to hate me for this, but-" He let out a moan as Doc pulled down the underwear and started sucking his erection. He went down on the entire shaft, only to make his way back up to the head. His lips pressed into his head, causing a muffled gasp as he let it fall from them. However, he wasted no time in taking Rook in again.

Rook was on his back, covering his mouth. He was wriggling, eyes wide and not being able to articulate his shock. Yet he was riding the waves the pleasure, pushing himself deeper down Doc's throat.

Things didn't last forever, though. Doc pulled himself off Rook and the latter gave a sigh of disappointment. "Turn over," Doc purred, twirling his finger. Rook wordlessly did so and scooted back to let his legs and member hang off the edge, "Very nice." The older growled, giving himself a tug to tide himself over as he opened a drawer. He tore out a condom and pulled out some lubricant.

"It's not you until there's protection involved," Rook broke into a chuckle.

"I could say the same to you," The doctor put the condom on his member and applied the lube on the younger's entrance. He then stealthily gave a few tugs on his member, eliciting a gasp and groan.

"…That feels amazing!"

"I'm just getting started, _mon ami_!" Doc began to insert a finger inside his entrance, "It's been so long since I did this…" After working with one finger, he then added the second. He spread it a couple times, enjoying the shudders of increasing volume.

Feeling satisfied, he added a third finger.

Then a fourth.

He pulled his fingers out.

Rook turned to see, wearing the expression that he wore when someone denied one of his plates. Doc gave a smirk and clamped his hands on the other's firm yet bubbly backside. He gave a satisfying hiss as he inserted himself slowly. Rook's eyes widened once more as Doc rocked back and forth against him. The low grunts didn't match the relieved yet animalistic expression he had as he began to speed up.

"Gus…" Rook let out a moan, gripping the ends of the bench. Doc began thrusting in and out. It felt like the doctor had snapped. He was now slamming his entire length in and pulling entirely out.

The air filled with grunts and moans. Doc's fingers dug deep into Rook's ass. Rook was now incredibly loud and incoherent.

"Do… You… Hate… Blitz?" Rook could only respond, "Agh! Oh god! You're going in **deep**!"

"I don't hate Blitz," Doc intensified his thrusts by each word, "But I'll be honest, I envy him! He's lucky to fuck your ass!"

"I'm not **that** lewd, neither is he," The younger one sighed, " _Mon dieu,_ Gustave, you're so aggressive!" He shuddered as one hand was now pulling his nipple outwardly. "I think you're lying!"

"Blitz is a good man for you. If I hated him, I would've stepped in when you and he became an item," Doc continued, growling, "Although I'll admit I'm concerned about how tightly you're squeeze me!"

" **HE'S IN MUNICH!** "

"When he gets back, he's got to step it up!"

"We don't fuck every night, Gus!" Rook screamed.

" **HE'S A FOOL NOT TO,** " Doc growled, feeling himself come. He pulled himself out and slipped off the condom and threw it in the trash bin, "Thank you, Julien…"

"…I…What?" Rook came immediately after, squirting his load onto the floor and lying limp. He let out some incoherent babbling, to the doctor's surprise. Doc then cleaned up the floor and Julien, redressing him and wrapping him up in a blanket. He then let him sleep on the cot. The doctor then cleaned himself up and redressed himself.

A knock on the door resounded through the room.

Doc answered the door. It was Jackal.

"Where's Julien?" Jackal asked, "He promised to meet me after he spoke with you."

"He's taking a nap. We had a very stimulating conversation and that armor training wore him out," Doc came up with a quick answer.

"Fair enough. You are close friends anyway." Jackal walked away and closed the door. Doc then continued his paperwork and medical duties.

* * *

The next day was rather surprising. Doc was analyzing a blood test when Rook came in. He was rather in a tight white shirt and form fitting navy sweatpants.

"I can't stop thinking about yesterday," Rook said, tugging on his lab coat.

"…Neither can I," Doc quickly replied, not taking his eyes off the cytometer, "How am I not dead?"

"Because you're a damned good doctor," Rook eyes went to the side, "and I'm a coward." His head hung low.

"Why? I find you pretty brave. It takes guts to make a dangerous situation safe."

"I was supposed to tell Jackal that you're responsible for staining Emmanuelle's scrapbook, but…" Doc swooped in front of him to give a deep passionate kiss. They kissed for so long that there was a trail of saliva between them, "I'll give you room to think."

Doc cleaned up his desk and powered up his laptop. He nabbed Rook onto his lap. Rook adjusted himself constantly because the chair was a rickety excuse for a government chair and the desk was cramped.

"I missed sitting on your lap, Gus," Rook bit his nails.

"Me too," Doc said. He was typing some emails, starting to the little boy in the green hat.

"How's that kid doing anyway?"

"He's been well. His asthma has been almost non-existent." Doc started to feel the other sit a bit too comfortably on him, "Julien, those pants are awfully thin."

"…Pervert," Rook started to impatiently bounce, "For government standard, these pants are awfully shit. You've got a wild mind."

"Well, paperwork's not all fun and games," Doc exhaled. He started to pull down the waistband of his scrubs and underwear, now revealing his hard erection against the covered mass of Rook's ass. "You have to make it fun for it to be bearable."

"Good point," Rook replied. Doc then started to undo the sweatpants and pull down the boxers, "Here we go again, and yet I still can't answer for myself."

"Answers take time, Julien," Doc purred, getting even harder at the site of his exposed ass. He started to bury his member between the cheeks. Next, he started to rut as he typed into the excel file. "Sometimes it takes a while." Rook let out a few clandestine huffs, backing into his friend to feel the tip.

"You're awfully aggressive again, Gus," Rook sighed.

"I'm not as pure as you think, Julien," Doc then started to hump himself further in. The younger started to moan as he began to thrust further in.

A cell phone started ringing. Rook started to sit back to check his phone. His phone was ringing and he turned it on its side, propping it up on the doctor's desk. He then answered the call, which was a video call.

' _Merde…_ ' Doc muttered as he sat back.

"Hi Elias!" Rook enthusiastically greeted, waving widely, "How goes it in Munich?"

"It's been hectic," Blitz pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed haggardly, "The hostage situation is much worse than we thought. The refugee situation is really complicating it."

Doc gritted his teeth as he started thrusting further into him despite keeping still.

"Ah!" Rook let out a gasp and readjusted himself, "How are Bandit and Jager?"

"Well, they're okay," Blitz replied, "We're all tired here, especially Bandit. The mission was just so stressful because there's some protocols you really have to decide between and people's lives were on the line. You okay there?"

"Yeah, I am. It's been rather peaceful here," Rook readjusted himself again, bouncing here and there.

"You've been moving on that chair plenty, _liebling_. Are you fine?" Blitz raised an eyebrow.

"You know, shitty government chairs, but yeah I'm fine." He scratched the back of his head.

"Wait, why are you in Doc's office?" The German raised another eyebrow.

"Oh," Rook's face became flushed and sweaty, "I've been catching up with him. He's been awful lonely…"

"Where is he?"

"Ah!" The French man let out a moan, continuing to ride Doc, "He's been busy. You know him."

"That chair is awfully shitty, you should switch!" Blitz frowned in concern.

"Oh no, it's okay! Gaaaaah…" Rook bounced around again, leaving Doc to grunt lowly and continue thrusting back up.

"I swear you're gonna fall-"

"No really I'm fine! Don't worry, love…"

"What was that?"

"It's nothing."

"That desk **does not** look stable."

"Haha, government desk, am I right?" Rook started to nervously giggle. Doc held him tighter around the waist and started to thrust deeper and harder into him. Even the desk started to shake and thud a bit. "Oh, and our tax dollars are going into this!" He wiped the sweat of his brow.

"Really-"

"No, it's fine!"

"Seriously-"

"Don't worry about it!" Doc ended up coming inside Rook, leaning backwards on the chair. He was absolutely exhausted, with his eyes rolled back inside his head.

"Oh, it seems like everything stabilized. I swear you guys got an earthquake here." Blitz breathed a sigh of relief. He then heard Jager's voice in the distance, "Well, Jager's calling me. Guess we got to get back in there!"

"Come back alive, dear!" Rook said his goodbyes and then the call ended. He looked back to Doc, who was now absolutely passed out and still.

"…Doc?"

* * *

And so these liaisons between Doc and Rook continued…

"This beats yoga!" Doc grabbed Rook's hair as he was getting deep into him. They were in Doc's room.

"Ah, Gus, you've been really rough!"

* * *

"I'm not sure if I can be faithful to Blitz anymore…" Rook moaned as Doc was on top of him. They were in a mating press, where Rook was on his back while Doc drilled into him.

* * *

"Aren't you full of cum?" Doc remarked at the sight of Rook's face. Rook was on his knees, just done sucking the doctor off.

Rook only blinked, with eyes devoid of light.

* * *

"Fuck!" Rook moaned, being pressed up against the wall, "What benefit is there for you to keep fucking me?"

"I haven't messed up lately, haven't I?" Doc whispered in his ear.

A glint returned to Rook's eyes.

* * *

"I'll admit I'm looking forward to this…" The younger smiled, wearing nothing beneath the blanket in his room.

Doc jumped him and it ended with Rook's legs shaking and stars in his eyes.

"This…" Doc sighed in pride, "This is better than smoking."

* * *

"Who's the doctor on this team?" Doc asked, again thrusting into his entrance.

"You are!" Rook moaned in pleasure.

"Whose dick is saving the team?"

"Yours, Gus!"

"Louder!"

" **YOURS, GUS**!" ' _I'm so sorry, Blitz. It's for the good of Team Rainbow_ …'

* * *

After another one of their fuck sessions, Doc and Rook slept with each other. This was a particularly intense one because they had an early morning mission where everyone was needed. Doc's hands were around Rook's waist but was covered by the rather thick blanket.

The door creaked open just a little, only to reveal to angry intense eyes, brows furrowed and teeth gritted.

Guess who was back from Munich?

* * *

A/N: Hello and welcome to another experimental piece. Any comments and critique welcome. If you're from the Moba Smut Central Discord and wanted me to do NTR, I've cracked this cold one for you!


	4. Gustave Kateb vs The People

"Okay, from the top…"

"SHIT!"

"ASS!"

"FUCK!"

"HAMBURGERS!"

"Fuze, hamburgers is not a curse word," Tachanka gave critique, "It is something we call the Americans, yes?"

"But doesn't most instances of this condition have only benign words?" Fuze stood his ground.

"While that may or may not be true, we need to put our backs into it. Kapkan, flail more excessively! Glaz, make that shuddering believable!" Tachanka continued, having his claps echo in his tiny room, "Okay, again, from the top-"

"Tachanka, dear what are you doing?" Finka burst into the room, jaw dropped.

"Ah, Finka!" Tachanka bellowed a greeting, "Have you heard about what happened about the Spetznaz?" He motioned to give a bear hug, but was rebuffed by the younger woman.

"No, I have not but this is not acceptable," Finka's jaw hadn't lowered, pitch increasing, "First Doc loses his mind, but now this?"

"Love, we are just trying to show that our brothers and sisters back home need the money."

"By deceit? What is going on here?" She still stood, shocked.

"Oh…" The man's voice went monotone at the realization, "Love… We have received bad news. The Spetsnaz is losing funding from the UN."

"That makes no sense…"

"We're all aware here, Finka," Kapkan spoke up, "But yes, it's happening."

"What is your plan here?" Finka asked, "Are you going to deceive the UN by by doing a charade of a poor excuse of Tourette's syndrome?"

"Well… yes." Tachanka was blunt, "But we are proving a point."

"What kind of point?"

"Well, the UN has a soft spot for the disabled. And if we make light of the fact that we have the disabled in our ranks, maybe they'll retract their decision. It's not wrong, is it?"

"Technically, you are not wrong," Finka put her fingers on her chin, and whispered in Tachanka's ear, "I am one of them."

"See?" Tachanka whispered back, "And we'll posture ourselves as such, so you don't have to."

"…Fair enough," She blushed, "It's not the most moral decision, but speaking of morals, Lion's been injured."

* * *

It was CQC practice in the boxing area and Lion and Bandit were duking it out. Bandit was incredibly ferocious today, taking more punches than usual. Lion dodged back and forth and landed a few on the other. Bandit didn't care, as he shook them off and kept punching.

"What's up your ass?" Lion chuckled, dodging in rhythm.

"You're awfully slow," Bandit tersely replied.

"Oh, come on," The atoner chuckled some more, "What is it? You can tell me."

"You already know."

"No, really I don't."

"No."

"Please?"

"I will not."

"Pleeeeease?"

" ** _NO_**." Bandit gave an undercut to the atoner's shit-eating face, causing him to collapse onto the floor, giving a loud, dry, echoing smack, "You already know." He came in closer to his face, and then unceremoniously walked away.

"I don't think he's breathing," Sledge casually said, checking Lion's face, "Oh, wait, there it is."

"Well I did my part," The German walked away, wiping the sweat off his brow. He then turned to Blitz, who was on the bench, unmoving, "I'm… sorry, Elias."

"I don't need your fucking pity," Blitz droned, monotone.

"Hey, hey," Bandit gave a mild pat on the shoulder, "You'll get through this. On the bright side, at least I saw it loud and clear. God knows what _schisse_ you'd do if you saw it."

"That doctor's gonna pay…" Blitz started with a growl.

"It's unfortunate, but he's going to be the one to heal Lion here," IQ joined in, wearing her green dance uniform.

"Good."

"Greetings, _brahtan_!" Tachanka burst into the room, with the rest of the Spetznaz following him.

"Ooooh Lion's fucked up," Fuze laughed. Glaz took out his sketchbook, went into the ring, and started to sketch out Lion's form.

"…Pugilism," Kapkan scoffed.

"Where is the doctor; he should be coming any time soon?" Tachanka asked.

"My question exactly," Sledge agreed.

* * *

At Mute's notification, Doc rushed out of his office. Lab coat and medical bag in hand, he went towards the boxing room. Mute then locked the door behind him. Doc then asked everyone to clear out of the way, hopping into the ring. As much as his relationship with Lion was rocky, he wouldn't neglect him. He started to check his vitals: blood pressure, pulse, breathing, heart rate, and eyes. Seeing that it was all normal, he started to drag Lion out of the ring.

Only for him to suddenly wake up and give him an uppercut. Doc landed on his back, swearing all the way down.

" _Merde_! Of course you'd fake it!" He looked up at Lion, who was now standing up and pounding a fist into his palm.

"I've been waiting for this day, Gustave!" Lion cackled, now picking Doc up and holding him up by the arms, "I swear the day you slip will be the best day of my life, and here it is!" He broke into an evil laugh, "Anyone care to take a swing?" There was a glint in his eye as Doc struggled to get out, but Lion's strength restrained him.

"Me first!" Blitz got up and undid his jacket, revealing a wifebeater and sweatpants. He turned to Doc, "What kind of logic do you have to sleep with Rook? The Rook I'm with? Did you think fucking him would solve your problems?"

Doc's eyes widened and he stared wordlessly at Blitz, "I needed him. I'm sorry."

"THE HELL HE DOESN'T!" Blitz snapped, letting out a barrage of punches, " **HE WAS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND AND YOU FUCKED HIM! YOU FORCED YOURSELF ON HIM!** **Yet you think you're hot shit because you're a rich doctor who did Doctors Without Borders. Doubly so that you're Rook's best friend. Well guess fucking what? YOU AREN'T! You fucking aren't… You act like you're the savior of Team Rainbow. WELL BULL FUCKING SHIT**!" He then gave a variation of Bandit's uppercut and a swift kick in the groin, voice starting to break as he inhaled, "You're not fucking sorry, and all these mistakes, they just pile up… And worst of all, Rook was so open and so kind. He doesn't let me love him anymore. You ruined your best friend. You sir, are a shit altruist…"

Blitz turned his back and walked to a dark corner of the room, suppressing his sobs. Bandit and IQ joined him, soothing him.

"Well, who wants to go next?" Lion bellowed.

"Me," Tachanka said, getting into the now bloody and beaten Doc, "You caused Lera to almost die. That makes me angry," He gave a direct gut punch, causing the doctor's eyes to snap open and his mouth to cough blood. The Russian walked away.

"…I think you were too harsh with him," Glaz followed him, "I don't feel like drawing anymore."

" _Nyet_ ," Tachanka disagreed, "After all the shit he did, it was coming."

"Infidelity is pretty shit," Kapkan added, "Even though Blitz will be fucked for even breaking fraternization policy. I'm surprised you didn't do more."

"I think it's fitting."

Twitch emerged from the shadows, unmasked. Everyone started to whisper, shocked. She blew the stray strands of hair out of her face and walked towards Doc, head held high. Holding his chin, she looked up at him. His eyes were near death. Hers were warm with pity and contempt. She let go of his chin and knelt down to his level.

"Gus," Twitch began.

"…Emmanuelle?" Doc weakly replied. His eyes fluttered, "Are you angry?"

"Not really," Her warm smile made it sincere, however, "Mira and I fixed it."

"…I'm… sorry," Doc started to cough, "…I was being selfish. I felt neglected."

"…That's the thing. I looked up to you as a paragon of ethics. We all did. It's not that you were deprived of whatever that was. It's not how you casually let all these mistakes pile up on your person. You taught us all that all life is precious and everyone has inalienable rights. In effect, it's you. I don't know what's wrong with you and I'm afraid to guess, but… it's all you: you shooting a child, you swapping Finka's medication with said child's, and now you having sex with Rook even though he's with Blitz. I know this is a tired sentiment from your conscious, or whatever's left of it and from the rest of us at Team Rainbow, but…" Twitch put a palm up to her head, leading into a deep sigh of consequences, "You need help. Professional help. World class help. Because that's what you are to us. World class. It's still in there somewhere, you just need to find it." She stood up and walked away. Her head was buried in her hands.

Somewhere in the dark and the empty space between the operators, there was a jiggle of the lock. The jiggling went faster and faster. Until it fully stopped.

A blanket of light emerged from the door.

"What the _hell_ is going on?"

* * *

The entirety of Rainbow Six was in the debriefing room. Six was at the main podium while Doc was at the left podium. Doc was taken immediately to the hospital, with Finka as the residing physician. After a few hours of rest and treatment, he sat up bandaged with an eyepatch. Everyone else sat in chairs facing them, with those in the gym at the front.

"Is everyone present?" Six called to order. A flurry of whispers, chair squeaks, and cell phone noises filled the room.

It all came to a hold as Vigil and Echo rushed into the back, holding hands.

"I see everyone is here," Six continued, "So we'll proceed with the hearing." She cleared her throat, shuffling documents in hand, "Today, we are all here to discuss the elephant in the room. Starting with today's events." Blitz shook in his seat, "From witnesses in the boxing area, we have a beating of our doctor, Gustave Kateb. Callsign Twitch, would you give your account please?" Twitch got up to the right podium.

She had bags under her eyes and her hair was messy. With a heavy sigh, she began her testimony, "Apparently Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, Mute, and Blitz had planned on this. Bandit and Lion were having a boxing match and Bandit knocked out Lion. Mute asked for medical help and Doc came. He then locked the door. Lion apparently faked being unconscious and hit and restrained Gustave. He then offered him to anyone who wanted to punch him. Blitz came in with a flurry of punches while Tachanka punched him once. I talked to him only about his issues. He came in my scrapbook… I don't want to talk about it any further-" She started to hyperventilate and ran back to her seat. Mira held her as she broke down.

"A clear witness account. Before we let the men plead guilty, I want to know what drove this premeditated beating," Six replied, "This month has been rough on all of us. Mute, I'll let you come first." Mute took his place on the podium.

"If you want to know my motive," Mute mumbled through the mask, "Doc shot a child. Who the fuck shoots a child?"

"For your information, that was already fixed! The child is alive and healthy," Doc defended himself.

"It doesn't matter Doc! That's unacceptable at _any_ angle!" Mute countered, "The media would kill us quick if they learned. That's a goddamn liability-"

"Enough, Mute!" Six cut him off, "Do you plead guilty?"

"Yes!" Mute curtly answered, "It's a violation I'd take." He threw his hands up in the air and sat down.

"Lion, you're next."

"You see, _mademoiselle_ ," Lion took Mute's place, starting with a haughty air, "I do not have the best relationship with _ze_ doctor here. So I was willing to aid in this beating of justice-"

"Lion, NO!" Rook interrupted, "Doc's actions don't excuse yours, Lion!"

"Shut it, fuck toy!" Lion hurled the insult loudly. Rook sat down heavily in a huff, arms crossed and fuming.

"Language!" Six intercepted, "Of course you're guilty, Lion. Sit down."

"At least I own my sins," Lion walked off, tagging in Tachanka on the podium.

"…And what is it this time, Tachanka?"

"…He swapped Finka's medication for the child's. He's the reason why she froze in Mosul. I'll take whatever charge," Tachanka sat down. Bandit went up next.

"What is your issue here Bandit?"

"I…" Bandit stammered, eyes on the ground, "I witnessed infidelity and felt incredibly offended on Blitz's part. I felt like I had to do something. Why are you punishing us, Six?"

"…I understand the host of issues that Doc has stirred up, but in this environment, mob justice isn't the solution," Six gave a heavy sigh, "I'm conflicted, but regulations are regulations. Blitz, you're up next."

Bandit walked off the podium, only to have it filled by Blitz. "I know Rook and I are a violation of the fraternization policy. But it's so goddamn obvious. _You_ even see it." Blitz breathed through clenched teeth, "It's not right that Gustave here had his way with Rook. It's not fucking right."

"Elias, I'm sorry but it isn't like that," Rook interrupted again, "As Twitch said, he's not completely bad."

"You didn't have to cheat, Julien!" Blitz yelled back, "It hurt to see you and Doc in the same bed after I come back from Munich."

"There was some issues that I solved wrong, yes-"

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO IT RIGHT?"

"ENOUGH!" Six moderated with an iron fist, "All of you are guilty. Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, and Mute for a count of premeditated assault. Blitz for premeditated assault and a fraternization violation. And Doc… Where do I begin with you? Sexual misdemeanor, fraternization violation, assault, and negligence!"

People burst into a gossipy whirlwind, with them whispering to each other.

Six put a swift end to it with a few pounds from her gavel. People went silent. "As I was saying, as severe as these counts are, they don't take away from your abilities as operators or your accomplishments. You are still valuable. However, the punishments need to be served. Lion, Tachanka, Bandit, and Mute have kitchen and janitorial duties for three weeks. Blitz, you have kitchen and janitorial duties for four plus house arrest for the first week. Doc, you have kitchen and janitorial duties under house arrest for _six_ weeks. You are only allowed to practice within the halls of Herefordshire and even then, you will be monitored by a medic. You are all dismissed."

* * *

A/N: This was originally part of a bigger chapter so I split it for dramatic effect. R&R!


	5. Cleaning It Up

Doc emerged from the office, swallowing thickly. He was no longer in his scrubs and lab coat, but in a pair of overalls and a sweater with the sleeves rolled up. With a heavy sigh, he went to the cafeteria.

Tachanka, Lion, and Blitz were already in the kitchen. Tachanka was hauling government beef while Lion and Blitz were cleaning stoves. Lion stopped to see Doc, who was already with a mop and bucket.

"And here is the man of the hour!" Lion sarcastically raised his arms for a hug, only to hug himself and walk away.

"Now you will taste the life of a common man!" Blitz sneered, kicking the bucket away from Doc.

"Very mature, Elias. Oliver," Doc turned to both of them, deadpan, "Let's get this done like _adults_ , shall we?" Blitz and Lion burst out in laughter as Doc started to clean the floor.

However, cleaning the floor when everyone's pissed at you was no easy feat. Blitz and Lion proceeded to play soccer with the rolling bucket. Doc swiftly recaptured it, but it wasn't for long.

After many conflicts with the bucket and an eventual spillover, Doc was able to mop the whole kitchen. He wiped his brow and whistled low in a prayer for an easier task, but Tachanka presented him an entire bag of frozen hamburger beef patties.

"You make hamburger. I clean tables," Tachanka dropped it on his hands as he casually walked over to the cafeteria tables. He sat down on a table and called Finka. Doc grunted in frustration, taking the nutrition primer and reading the directions on making a hamburger. He put the bag down on the counter to let the patties thaw, then he heated up the grill and squirted on some liquid butter alternative. While waiting, he turned to Lion and Blitz and asked:

"Can you men please help me with the burgers?"

"Why?" Bandit raised his hands up in indifference, "You helped yourself to my boyfriend."

"Adultery is a sin, you know," Lion added, "I'll get the lettuce."

"Don't be so petty. We're having hamburgers tonight," Doc sighed, "I thought you liked hamburgers."

"We do," Blitz corrected him, "We just don't want to help."

"Bah, we've no choice to help our _fellow_ brother here," Lion corrected the German, "Get the onions, _mon ami_." Blitz growled and took out the onions and madly chopped them.

"Where's Mute and Bandit anyway?" Doc asked, opening the bag of hamburgers.

"They're bathroom duty. Mute's done though so he'll be here," Blitz answered through tears. With Doc grilling the hamburgers, Lion and Blitz put together the vegetables. Mute came in heated the buns on Doc's grill, occasionally pushing a patty. Bandit came in next, setting up the stations. People started to file into the cafeteria, causing a long line to snake around the room. Tachanka came first though.

"You sat and talked to Finka while we did everything else. Why are you first?" Doc was flabbergasted at the large Russian's audacity to cut in line.

"Doesn't matter, give me burger," Tachanka spat his answer, "Double cheese, no vegetables!" Doc rolled his eyes as he assembled the burger and set it on the rack. The other man took it wordlessly. Dinner went on silently between the six until everyone was served. When truly done, Doc dispersed to his own table, eating a burger with all the vegetables.

"Doc!" Someone called out to him.

"What grievance do you have this time?" Doc muttered between bites.

The voice approached him, revealing the owner to be Montagne. Montagne was smiling this time, a rare sight since the trial.

"Gilles?" Doc swallowed a large bite of his burger.

"Holy shit, that burger was good!" Montagne squealed, "It had nothing but the basics, but _mon dieu_ that tasted so good. I didn't know you could cook!"

"Well grilling beef patties according to a nutrition primer isn't all that hard…" His eyes shifted sideways.

"Well I'm glad you could make so many, because I had seconds! I was even considering a third," Montagne laughed.

"…I'm glad you enjoyed them. At least I didn't fuck it up. But seriously two are enough."

"Don't take my word for it, everyone else liked them too!"

Doc put away his trash to see Blitz glaring angrily at him. IQ just criticized his onions and praised Doc's patties. He chuckled nervously as he went back into the kitchen to clean the place up.

* * *

Bouncing between kitchen duty, bathroom duty, and his medical duties, Gustave was run ragged. He couldn't indulge in his most private desires nor could act like a complete degenerate to anyone or anything. The medic that was sent to watch him was a man with a doctorate in Psychology, which made it harder to shrug off any of his issues.

"Gustave, you can't, again reconcile with someone without sexualizing them," The medic sighed, "They will be uncomfortable."

"But I'm not, Mercutio!" Doc countered him, hopping into his overalls, "Rook isn't my boyfriend, but my best friend."

"When a best friend sexualizes another, it is creepy," Mercutio added, "Situation be damned!"

"Well I feel like shit now," Doc yelled over the curtains, "Be right back, I've been called to clean the bathroom."

"Enjoy! Manual labor is indeed a cleansing experience!"

"…You wouldn't say that after the stuff I've cleaned…"

Blitz shoved the bin of supplies wordlessly to Doc. He glared at him, sulking. "Just because you haven't fucked anything up doesn't mean you're free in my book. I took the women's wing. I don't want any rape in my team, you creepy fuck. It's going to take a lot more to convince me. Get the fuck out of my sight." He walked away with his own bin of supplies.

Doc frowned in shame but pushed the bin into the men's communal restroom and went to work. He was well-aware of how disgusting a human can be, but this experience redefined it. Clogged toilets, smeared feces, clogged sinks… He knew humans as a collective were absolutely disgusting now. He started with putting Lysol on the sink and squeegeeing the mirrors. He then wiped the stalls with a dilute bleach solution and cleaned the toilets. He did this stall by stall, realizing how nice manual labor was for him. It was purposeful, productive, and it kept his mind busy. Mercutio had a point.

What broke him out of his trance was a familiar voice in another stall. It was a panicked voice. "Is… anyone in there? Hello?"

"Gustave here, cleaning the bathrooms, like the piece of shit I am," Doc called out, lazily wiping the stall.

"Oh… Hi Gus," The voice slowed down, now warm with the mention of his name.

"…Julien?" Doc's wiping came to a stop, "What's going on?"

"…I broke it off with Blitz," Rook's voice started to break, "I love him, but with what I did with you…"

"No, I should apologize," Doc started, suppressing his emotion, "I was being selfish and creepy. I wasn't thinking rationally. I used you when I shouldn't have, Julien."

"But you _didn't_ use me, Gus. I usually prevent these things."

"Don't be such an apologist, Julien!" Doc punched the stall, "I abused your trust and I'm incredibly sorry. I've fucked up so much and I don't want to lose you. You're one of my best friends and that's why I couldn't face you these past few days. Why didn't you even throw me off when I kissed you?"

"Because…" Rook's voice trailed off for a moment, digging into his conscience, "I don't want to lose you either. I felt not only your stress when you kissed me, but your latent feelings. Yes, I'm aware of the shit you've done, but at the same time, you're still my best friend too. Yet I think what I feel for you is beyond that… I won't deny you're a silver fox, though. I just felt uncomfortable being with Blitz after that. He's a great man with plenty of wisdom and fun but he deserves better."

"No, you deserve better."

"But I want you. That's why I was willing to let you use my body. That's why I don't consider myself used…"

"Julien-"

"Not in the traditional way of course. You do and go through so much for us, it's amazing. I can't comprehend what you've seen and done. You just don't… stop. You keep going and going and going, and that's what's killing you, Gustave. Blitz is like that too, willing to forgo sleep just to fix his shield. It's admirable. I put up with cheating with you because I thought it would make you stop. I thought if I the body you oh-so like on the line, it would make you understand the importance of resting."

"…I guess you were able to put yourself together the way Mercutio put me together. Well done."

"I'm a hypocrite. I should've gone to Mercutio for this shit," Rook scoffed at himself, "I just downplay it because you made me feel good, plain and simple."

"What the fuck are we even now, Julien?"

"We're still best friends, right?" Doc was now sitting on a closed toilet.

"Yes."

"What are you going to do with Blitz, me, and everyone else?"

"Well, I'll let Blitz find whoever but I'm still going to be a friend to everyone. It's like how you're still generous after dealing with our crap. Sorry to say, though, I'm in no fucking shape for a relationship after this shitshow."

"Me too. I guess we're two birds of a feather, huh?"

"Yeah," Rook chuckled, voice filled with mirth, "I've missed you, Gus."

"I missed you Julien."

* * *

The weeks have come and gone, with Doc on his last two days of house arrest. People have slowly warmed up to Doc again. Doc and Rook had started talking regularly again. Finka had let Doc know more about herself again. Smoke and Lesion had started to observe his orders more closely. The boy in the green hat sent him stationary and a bottle of Chianti. The SAS were even more respectful of him now.

Doc and Finka were in the laboratory working on Finka's nanomachines. They were recording dendrite lengths only to see her rapidly recording numbers.

"Slow down, Finka!" Doc gasped, "You usually don't write this fast, what's going on here?"

"I'm sorry Gustave, but I have to leave soon," Finka apologized as she recorded some more numbers.

"Why?"

"The UN consortium is in town and Tachanka and the others took it upon themselves to go," Finka spoke fast, "I told him not to, but he's still going to do it anyway."

"And what is wrong with that?" Doc was incredulous.

"The UN is planning to cut funding to the Spetznaz. Tachanka and the others set up a plan to appeal to them."

"What is wrong with Tachanka's plan?"

"They're planning to fake having Tourette's to appeal to them to not cut their funding!"

"That's dishonest!"

"That's why I told him not too, but he won't listen. Really, I have to go." Finka packed up her bag and ran out of the lab. A ball of disgust formed in the bottom of Doc's stomach. He followed Finka immediately after.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" Doc stopped in his tracks, seeing Six bracing herself in front of the door.

"I was going to help Lera, ma'am," Doc answered, saluting her.

"Unfortunately, you're still under house arrest. I cannot let you go outside. If you have to help her, you must do so from here."

"Six, ma'am, I want to speak with you about something. I want you to make an exception"

"Do tell…"

They went to Six's office, with Doc presenting his case to her.

" **PRE-MEDIDTATED FRAUD**?" Six bellowed in shock, eyes wide.

"Believe me, Lera gave me a throughout account of what the Spetznaz men are planning to do."

"But do you have evidence of this?" Six calmed herself down, "I want to a concrete reason to let you out."

"Indeed I have," Doc pulled out a USB stick and put it in her laptop. He opened a file. The sounds of the Spetznaz men yelling curse words, the explicit plans of fooling the UN, and Finka's protest was enough to convince her. "Only someone like me can tell they're frauds."

" **GO, FUCKING GO!** " Six screamed.

* * *

The Spetznaz men were teetering on the edge of the front row seats. The UN consortium was packed with the brim with CTU's from around the world. The judges were analyzing each CTU's appeal to not have their sweet, sweet funding taken away. Some were laughed off stage, some wept with them, some were immediately booed. Next to them were the Scotland Yard, which was only two people. One of them was a tall, string bean of an Irish man, with wild puffy dark hair. The other was a taller, broader man. He looked like Sledge but softer and had a dark auburn faux-hawk.

The Irish man whispered to Glaz, "Your leader looks like he's full of shit,"

"Language, O'Daly!" The Scottish man admonished him, "Also that's incredibly rude."

"Just saying what I feel, Kiernan, gosh!" O'Daly fired back, crossing his arms.

"Will the Spetznaz come up? Spetznaz?" The announcer droned on. Many repeated her, but in different languages. The Russian men got up and walked up to the stage from the back end.

"Remember what we rehearsed," Tachanka reminded them, "Let's give them a show. I love you all."

One of the judges, an old man in a suit and glasses, looked at the four men. His lips curled up in intrigue and asked, "You men are Spetznaz, yes?"

"Indeed we are, sir," Glaz replied, "Please listen to our plea. We still need funding."

"Can you please list the reasons that we need funding, sirs?"

Tachanka stepped forward, "I will, sir. Russia, despite its big economy- ASS LICKER!"

"Sir, this is not a game. If you're going to shout curses at us, please leave the stage."

"We are completely serious. I have Tourette's Syndrome. So do the rest of us- SHIT!" Tachanka continued, motioning towards a shaking and blubbering Fuze, "Still has heavy amounts of poverty in rural areas. This thins out- ASS! Our forces. While we do get plenty of funding from our home country, it's not enough-"

"TITTY SPRINKLES!" Kapkan had an outburst, seizing up on his shoulder, "Our weaponry and equipment are showing wear. They can only last so much against the snow. SHIT!"

"WASHCLOTH!" Fuze blubbered and shook his head, "While the Spetznaz is still for counter-terrorism, we decided to ramp up our efforts- HAMBURGERS! Towards peacetime. That means delivering care packages to those impoverished and war-torn and funding for survival supplies to us _and_ civilians. SHIT!"

"Boop," Glaz made it soft but high-pitched and snapped his fingers. He was doing it consistently but no one really heard him after Fuze stopped talking.

"ASSHOLE!" Tachanka had another outburst, "In conclusion, to take away our funding is not only hindering the peacetime efforts of our country, but spitting on the face of the differently-abled that chose to serve their country. FISHSTICKS!"

"Mhmmm…." The old man mulled over his response, "Anything to champion to differently-abled and the efforts of those who bring peace. Perhaps we were wrong to underestimate the progressiveness of the Spetznaz…" He took a pen out and signed a few papers, "You keep your funding." The Russians gathered in a circle and cheered quietly amongst themselves. Just as they walked off the stage, the back door burst open.

" **THEY ARE FAKING IT**!"

The crowd gasped and whispered amongst themselves. The old man picked up his pen and fixed his glasses, and roared, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

"I may not be part of the Spetznaz, but I am their medic," Doc descended down the stairs, towards the stage. His white lab coat was trailing behind him, but instead of scrubs underneath, he wore his GIGN armor, "I have never diagnosed any of them with Tourette's Syndrome."

"BULLSHIT!" Tachanka roared, "He is lying. I AM IN LOVE WITH RUSLANA! AT NIGHT I DREAM ABOUT KISSING RUSLANA-AAAAAAAH!" He hopped back, eyes wide, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Finka told me everything. None of you went to me about this and I can tell by looking you're just abusing the symptoms," Doc continued.

"That bitch!" Tachanka cursed, "KAPKAN AND I TOUCHED WIENERS. I mean, winter is a very cold time of year!" The crowd went from awestruck silence to speaking amongst themselves.

"Do you have any definitive proof of this, medic?" The old man asked.

"Don't mind if I do," Doc tossed a USB stick at the table, "The video should tell you it's all pre-meditated."

" _Bylat_!" Tachanka cursed once more, running off stage and out through the back door. The Spetznaz followed him. Doc followed them too.

The Russians ran through an alley and that's where Doc followed them to. They emerged to an Asda, where Thatcher and Sledge were shopping. "Bloody hell, I've never seen Russians going inside an Asda!" Thatcher spat. Sledge shrugged his shoulders.

They went from aisle to aisle, with Fuze accidentally bumping into Mute, who was enjoying his donuts. Mourning the fallen donuts, Mute took after Fuze. After sneaking around the store, the Spetznaz burst out and ran across the street. Doc and Mute ran after them. The next destination was an ice cream shop.

"Aizawa is best man and anyone who disagrees can suck my dick!" Hibana claimed over a scoop of butter pecan.

"No, Endeavor is best man!" Frost slammed the table and got into the other woman's face, jumping her scoop of Pumpkin Spice.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Present. Mic." Ying tersely ate her Neapolitan scoop.

"Ying, I'm glad you were able to find this ice cream shop but get out of here with that trash," Frost got into her face too.

Confused at the discussion, the men ran out of the shop. Doc secretly got a pint of Cheese ice cream. They then ran across the street once more, finding themselves in a Starbucks. The men realized they wanted some coffee so they waited in line and waited more for their drinks.

"Ever took a shit so good you sit on the toilet for a few minutes afterwards?" Valkyrie asked, clutching her Pumpkin Spice latte. Ash, Ela, and Zofia agreed elatedly over their Pumpkin Spice lattes.

The men shuddered in disgust and chugged down their coffees and went on their ways. So the Russians ran across the street again. Tachanka bumped into Kiernan, who was holding O'Daly on his shoulders. The men cursed loudly and pursued Tachanka. And so they went…

To the salon, where Fuze got a haircut…

To the bank…

To the pet store…

To Blick's, where everyone cursed at O'Daly, Kiernan, and Glaz for taking so long…

"Long time no see, Glaz," Kiernan held his copics up to him.

"Kiernan! O'Daly! My animating comrades!" Glaz hugged them both, covered in oil paints.

"Well, we still need a background painter," O'Daly greeted.

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" Tachanka shooed then out, continuing the chase. They set out on the street again, where Kapkan ran over Lion.

" _Mon dieu_!" Lion yelled as he brushed himself up, "Wanna get some coffee with me, _mon Cheri?"_ Rook looked at him distastefully, arms crossed.

" _Non_." Rook tossed a cup of water at his face and walked away.

Their chase ended up in McDonald's, which was a few clicks near the base. Everyone ran past except Tachanka, who went up to the cashier and said, "I'll have two Number 9's, a Number 9 Large, a Number 6 with extra Dip, a Number 7, Two Number 45's, one with Cheese, and a large Soda." Just as he paid, the whole order was in a bag and he ran out with it. It now went back to base with them weaving in and out of various rooms.

"You trying to burn the place down, O'Daly?" Clash popped out to see the Irish and Scottish men running around the dormitories, "…And O'Daly wrangler, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Hi Morowa!" O'Daly greeted.

"Hi Morowa," Kiernan greeted, "We went to the UN consortium. We could've been in Team Rainbow with you, a pity."

"Scotland Yard needs you, Kiernan. O'Daly would burn everything if he doesn't have you," Clash agreed.

"Speaking of trouble, there you are!" He grabbed the collar of Tachanka's shirt and pulled him towards him and O'Daly, "Weren't you taught not to bump into people?"

" _Cyka bylat_!" Tachanka yelled, "That's my McDonald's!"

Mute shook his fist towards Fuze. Fuze gave Mute a number 9 and then they shook hands.

Six came into the room, livid, "Tachanka, Fuze, Kapkan, And Glaz! I saw what you did on CNN and you are all **SUSPENDED**!" She saw Kiernan holding Tachanka and O'Daly and let the former off his hands, "Thank you Kiernan, as good as you are, Scotland Yard wouldn't be same without you."

"No offense taken, ma'am," Kiernan replied, "Let's go home, O'Daly." The two left the base without a word. Two entered the base, debating while walking the dogs.

"So if you had to share a room between Doc and Tachanka, who would it be?" Buck asked, giving a dog a treat.

"I mean if I gotta choose between a closet pervert and a douchey con artist, I'd take Tachanka. At least he won't touch me at night," Echo answered.

"I respect Doc for what he does, but I'm glad I'm old, grouchy, and ugly. But I don't want Tachanka conning me either," Buck replied. Six yelled at the Russian men as she called in some helicopters to take them away. Everyone filed in to see the mess unfold, some even coming back from going out. The men scowled or hung their heads in shame as they left the compound. Six made a short statement but after that everyone still stayed. Doc pulled out a pint of cheese ice cream and gave it to Rook.

Doc then separated himself from the crowd, and then said, "You know, I learned something from these past few weeks. Yes, humanity is cruel and disgusting at times but at the same time humanity is amazing and progressive. No one is perfect, and this is big coming from me. Yet in all my years of service, you have to hit rock bottom to really learn how to a better human. Yes war is hell, but it doesn't excuse you from making the mistakes I or the Spetznaz made. And yes, we at Team Rainbow aren't perfect, but we can learn to make a better world for all."

"Yeah," Rook said, digging into his ice cream, "Speaking of trust you shouldn't start a relationship with someone just because they touch you down there."

* * *

A/N: OK so this is a huge fucking chapter and it was a labor of love but I'm so happy I can finally finish this fanfic. It was definitely a large project all and all but I was glad I was able to step out of my comfort zone and create some content that I usually don't create. I hope all of you enjoy it and leave any comments!


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